I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
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i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
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Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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