Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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