I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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