Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
