oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
