i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
