you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
