just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
