i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
