I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
