I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
