i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
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his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
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we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.