My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!