and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
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She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
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Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.