It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
