I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
