is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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