I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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