Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
