Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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