I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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