Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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