It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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