i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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