Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
