FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
