I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
