The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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