now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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