I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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