they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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