They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
