Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
