is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
