hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
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bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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