he wants to bone in the snuggie
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
