Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
