she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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