She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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