i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
