Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my being single is dangerous.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
