we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
