I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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