I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
