If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
