garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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