I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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