THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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