I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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