omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Houston, we have a squirter
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
