so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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