Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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