would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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