Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
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You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
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The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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