Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
