You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
