Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
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i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
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Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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