YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
