Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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