I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
