How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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