wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize