Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
