I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
