That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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