I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
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I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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